So life-like, it might kill you

We miss the good old days, back when everyone practiced free love and there was nothing a little antibiotics couldn't cure.

Actually, we're a little young to remember that.

We grew up in mortal fear that our private parts might spontaneously combust if we didn't practice safe sex.

But we never thought it would come to this. Now you can't even pull out your favorite sex toy for playtime without fears that you could be killing yourself.

It seems there's concern that phthalates, a material commonly used in dildos and vibrators, could be hazardous to your health. It's apparently the material that gives a dildo that jelly-like feel.

Some consumer safety advocates recommend that if you're going to use a toy made with phthalates, you might want to consider sliding a condom over it (We recommend Durex).

There is some debate whether phthalates are actually harmful. You should also be aware that the material is used in a lot of other things from baby teething rings to raincoats.

A few opinions on the subject can be found at Babeland's Blog and Alternet.

(Our lawyers have advised us to make clear that the photo of "Mr. Limpy" was used for illustrative purposes only. We have no knowledge of or make any claims that Mr. Limpy either contains phthalates or is phthalate-free. Furthermore, we wonder if 6.5 inches of flaccid penis really should be considered "medium." That is all.)

G marks the spot

Atlantis. Shangri-La. El Dorado. The G-spot.

Which of these mythical locations actually exists? We swear this isn't a trick question.

Some men have spent their entire lives searching for the G-spot only to come up empty handed. Well, no longer has their fumbling and stumbling been in vain.

Thank modern medicine for showing us the way to the land of milk and honey. A new procedure called a G-shot injects collagen into a woman's Grafenberg Spot, which makes the elusive, little pleasure point swell up to the size of a quarter.

Even the most uncoordinated, directionally-challenged guys can find their way with that kind of help.

We'd also like to take this moment to honor Ernst Gräfenberg, a German-born gynecologist who spent his life studying the female orgasm. This man is our hero. This man should have his own national holiday.

To read about one woman's journey into the unknown, check out the Stiletto Diaries. And for those who do better with video instruction, Fleshbot offers a link.

Save the camel toe!

We've never been too fond of bicycle seats. They're not really designed with guys in mind. Even if your junk runs on the small side, there's just no way to keep the boys comfy.

And while we consider ourselves an authority on the female form, we didn't know that women had the same kind of problems. And we were really blown away to find out that the problem is so pervasive that thousands of women in the U.S. and U.K. have resorted to surgically altering their labias.

Actually, that's just one of the reasons behind this new trend in cosmetic surgery. Some of the women in a British medical study also said they turned to the procedure because they couldn't wear tight clothing or just because they didn't like the way they looked down there.

The British study was critical of the surgery, saying for most women, it's kind of silly and unnecessary, though they used much bigger words, being doctors and British. Most of the women who wanted these designer vaginas "wanted their vulvas to be flat and with no protrusion, similar to the prepubescent look of girls in Western fashion ads."

We believe adults should be free to do whatever they want with their bodies but we are a little concerned what this might mean for the future of the camel toe.

We're big fans of the toe. But only on women.