Is that your iPhone in your pocket?

We enjoy ourselves some good porn every once in awhile. By "awhile," we mean, like, every day.

We're not obsessed with it, though. We've never felt the need to carry it around in our pockets, wherever we go. We're more than content to watch it on the old porn machine, er, laptop.

But hey, who are we to judge?

We've been reading over on Fleshbot, that porn producers are gearing up to provide video for the new iPhones. That's not exactly a new thing, since porn downloads have been available for the iPod for some time.

But from what we've seen, the iPhone is going to blow away the iPod. It's going to do to iPods, what TiVo did to VHS machines.

Still, we're having a hard time getting our minds around this whole pocket porn concept.

It's not that we think porn on an iPhone is a bad thing. It's that we think watching anything on such a small screen is a little unnecessary.

And then we started to think about it, and we realized that with a 3.5 inch screen, a video on the iPhone is going to be only slightly smaller than a YouTube video.

Weekend of shameless plugs

We're still figuring out what exactly this blog is going to be when it grows up. When we want some inspiration, we peruse the offerings at Humor-Blogs dot com. There's an excellent selection of bloggers over there who are a lot funnier than we can hope to be.

Ok. That was shameless plug #1.

If you've got HBO, you really should check out the new show Flight of the Conchords, Sunday @ 10:30 p.m. EST. If you're into silly deadpan humor, you'll get a kick out of Bret and Jemaine, two New Zealanders trying to make it in the Big Apple. In real life, they are a musical comedy duo that goes by the same name as the TV show. If you want to know more about the show, check out one of our other blogs.

On to shameless plug #3.

And as long as we're whoring for traffic, we'd like to take a moment to honor the world's smartest man. His name is Hammer and he's a lot smarter than us. He came up with this idea to get a lot of other smart people, though not quite as smart as him, to link to his very funny blog, Hammer Uncut. He calls it a link exchange on steroids. We figured this blog could use a little juice.

And, finally, we'd like to end with these thoughts: Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, free porn, naked coeds, Angelina Jolie nude, cheerleader sex, barely legal, bikini models, Pamela Anderson sex tape, Jenna Jameson hot lesbian action.

So life-like, it might kill you

We miss the good old days, back when everyone practiced free love and there was nothing a little antibiotics couldn't cure.

Actually, we're a little young to remember that.

We grew up in mortal fear that our private parts might spontaneously combust if we didn't practice safe sex.

But we never thought it would come to this. Now you can't even pull out your favorite sex toy for playtime without fears that you could be killing yourself.

It seems there's concern that phthalates, a material commonly used in dildos and vibrators, could be hazardous to your health. It's apparently the material that gives a dildo that jelly-like feel.

Some consumer safety advocates recommend that if you're going to use a toy made with phthalates, you might want to consider sliding a condom over it (We recommend Durex).

There is some debate whether phthalates are actually harmful. You should also be aware that the material is used in a lot of other things from baby teething rings to raincoats.

A few opinions on the subject can be found at Babeland's Blog and Alternet.

(Our lawyers have advised us to make clear that the photo of "Mr. Limpy" was used for illustrative purposes only. We have no knowledge of or make any claims that Mr. Limpy either contains phthalates or is phthalate-free. Furthermore, we wonder if 6.5 inches of flaccid penis really should be considered "medium." That is all.)

The case of the purloined papers

When we were youngsters, our mother told us the importance of always wearing clean underwear. As good old mom would say, you never know when you might get into an accident.

Thinking back on those words years later, we wonder what exactly she meant.

Did she mean that we might end up in an ambulance, where the paramedics, who should be feverishly trying to save our lives, will be too busy laughing at our beat-up knickers to perform CPR?

The point is, don't leave the house in anything that you might be embarrassed to be seen in.

So, if you're going to head to a sporting event, put letters on your belly and, basically, draw attention to yourself, don't be too surprised if you end up on the front page of a newspaper.

Apparently, a couple coeds at Farmington State College in Massachusetts, had some remorse after seeing their photo in the school paper. Their solution was to steal as many of the newspapers as they could.

Really, there's nothing wrong with any of the girls in this photo. But two of them, you'll have to guess which two because school officials aren't saying, have admitted to the theft, saying they thought the picture made them look "fat."

School officials are making them pay for the cost of the missing papers. Their real punishment? Having the picture they wanted no one to see, posted all over the Internet.

She has our vote

We're not political. We dislike most Republicans and Democrats, equally. But we like the Obama Girl. She's in the video I got a crush on Obama.

The Barack Obama campaign, of course, says they have nothing to do with the video, which stars bikini pinup girl Amber Lee Ettinger. Instead, it appears to be the creation of Barelypolitical.com, a new site whose motto is "Politics are ugly. Girls are pretty."

We're not sure what this site is going to be about, since there's not much on it. But if they keep the videos coming, we may have to start paying attention to politics.

By the way, Amber Lee is not Leah Kaufman, who sings the song and gives us the lyric, "Up in the oval office, you'll get your head of state." Leah has a knack at hitting the top of the YouTube charts with videos of hot chicks lip synching her songs. Last year, she gave the world My Box in a Box.

Have you seen the one about the 70 virgins?

We haven't posted much this week because we're in hiding.

In case you haven't heard, Iran has declared a jihad against pornographers, making it a capital crime to produce smut over there.

Not that we consider ourselves pornographers but, sometimes, we do post some racy photos of the ladies. Take this shot, for example. This picture is hot. That may be the hottest ankle I've ever seen.

We're posting it in defiance of the Iranian parliment because we feel it's our duty to help provide suitable spank material for 13-year-old Iranian boys.

We vaguely remember reading somewhere that it's always the forbidden fruit that tastes the sweetest. We're already predicting that the next big thing on the Internet will be illegal Iranian porn.

We've been flickr'd

We're a little slow in blogging about Flickr's problems filtering content because, and this is embarrassing, we don't have a Flickr account and we never really browsed it until recently.

Dammit, if we can't get off the site now. Who would have thunk that so many people around the world post pictures of women in bikinis and lingerie?

We're still not sure how to use the site all that well. We know that when we typed "porn" into the search box, 52,458 results were returned but of the 24 pictures returned on the first page, 7 were pictures of food, 5 were artsy landscape photos and 1 was of Ronald McDonald.

Maybe, it's related to how Flickr has been pissing people off lately? Blogger Violet Blue has several posts about her frustrations with Flickr's censors. Violet even got a post devoted to her at Fleshbot.